On My Mind

Monday, February 22, 2010

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Monday! I’m feeling a little overwhelmed today and I think sharing some of the things on my mind might help. Quickly before I go into that - my purchases from the A. Tierney sample sale arrived last week! So exciting...I especially love my giant pink monogrammed tote!

I’m feeling very pressured by my parents to get my CPA. I have an accounting degree and I only need to take 2 more classes (6 credits) to have the qualifications to sit for the CPA exam. I could have taken them before I graduated, but I just didn’t want to be away from Nicholas any longer. I love accounting (cool...I know) so it’s not that I wouldn’t like to be a CPA, but I’m just not sure I care enough about it to go through all the stress. I kind of feel like I could really throw myself into a career as a CPA and love it...if I didn’t want to have a family in the future. That’s not to say that many people don’t successfully do both, but I’m just not sure I am one of them.

I just started running and I’m shocked that I’m actually kind of loving it! Running with my ipod pretty much terrifies me (I don’t like not being able to hear what’s going on around me), so I bought the nike plus sportband to track my runs instead. I’ve only used it twice, but it’s so much fun! I am definitely a newbie runner so if anyone has any running advice I would really love to hear it!

I’m a little nervous about sharing this last issue, but I really think getting it off my chest will help! I struggle with my weight. I’m underweight and I hate it. I feel like I can’t talk about my weight issues because I’m afraid people will think I’m being insincere or vain. No matter what I do I cannot seem to get my weight above 98. I often feel like I’m being judged because of my weight (although it’s very likely that I’m just overly sensitive about it because it bothers me). I worry that I’ll have health problems because I don’t weigh enough. I constantly go back and forth between trying really hard to gain weight and then sort of giving up because I’m frustrated at not seeing any results. I’m actually kind of hoping that running will increase my appetite and help me gain weight.

On a much less important note, it's incredibly irritating because I love to shop and nothing fits me. I have to get everything I buy taken in - which is great on one hand because all my clothes are made to fit my body, but not so great on the other because I like nice clothes and tailoring for everything I buy just makes each item that much more expensive. A few stores (Ann Taylor, LOFT, J Crew, and Banana Republic) do carry some clothes in 00 petite (which I don’t have to get tailored), but the selection is really limited and I usually have to buy them online - which means I have to pay for shipping.

Thanks for bearing with me while I got all of that out! Advice/opinions are definitely welcome!


  1. Aw, thanks for sharing! Have you talked to a dietitian? I've never gone to one, but I wonder if they'd help. Running definitely increased my appetite so hopefully this works for you too. You're lovely, so keep smiling! xo (that bag is too cute. now I want one!)

  2. Your new tote is adorable!!

    The CPA thing sounds like a tough decision- I'm kinda going through the same thing deciding if I want to get a professional certification for my field- it would be such an easier decision if my current job was more supportive!

    Good luck with the weight issue! Do you do any weights? I think when I introduced strength training into my routine is when my appetite really revved up. Don't worry about bulking up- it's really hard to do without guzzling protein shakes. But it may increase appetite and build muscle mass, increasing weight in a healthy way.

  3. Thank you for being so open about the weight issue. While I am on the opposite side and I eat right and work out, and cannot manage to get the scale to go down - I think it is important that everyone know that everyone struggles. My best friend is on your side of the fence and she found doing weights and having a protein shake every morning really helped her a lot. It made her gain about 10 lbs, and she feels better too. Hope this helps! :)

  4. Thank you for sharing! :) Those are so perfectly pink items! Take care!

  5. One of my best guy friends sat for the CPA and didn't pass. At first he was beside himself, thinking he would never have a job he liked without it. He never sat for it again, went back and got his MBA, and is now the head of accounting for a national company.

    If it isn't something you are passionate about doing, I wouldn't suggest doing it. But, if you feel like it is something you would really enjoy having...even if you don't work as a CPA forever...then why not go for it?

    I personally will NEVER go back to school unless forced at this point :)

    About your weight...I know this doesn't help, but I was in the same boat. Couldn't gain weight. Was always called string bean. I'm 5'8" and weighed 115 for years. Then, age caught up with me. Now I look just right (I think anyway). I have always been a runner, and that did help me fill out a bit, but I still have to have everything taken in!! Please don't let it weigh on your mind. You are petite and beautiful, and soon enough you will be looking back at pictures saying "wow...I looked so trim...why can't I lose those extra 10 lbs now?". I promise :)

  6. The CPA sounds like it will be a tough decision. Would it be worth it to take the classes & sit for the exam so that you have the OPTION of using it the future? Or is it not worth it at all? Tough call!

    In regards to your weight, that must be a very difficult problem. I can understand why it would be so frustrating and why you feel like others are judging. But just remember that although someone might have a fleeting moment of thought about your weight, they quickly shift their thoughts back to themselves (whether they are overweight, underweight, or at their happy weight) because we are all usually more self conscious than other realize. :)

  7. oh i can see why this would be very frustrating! you seem so teenie beenie in your pic, i didn't realize how slender you actually are! congrats to you for being proactive about your health :D

  8. I love your new bag! My parents are very sure that going to grad school and getting an MBA (or a Masters in Education) would be a great decision but I'm still on the fence, so I sympathize with your CPA situation.

  9. You will never regret getting your CPA license, but in a few years you might regret not doing it. And if you use it or not, just having it can open so many doors for you. I was an accounting major in college and decided I didn't want to go through with it after graduation, and now 7 years later I'm kicking myself because if I want to sit for it now it's going to be so much more work.

  10. Hi! I recently started following your blog and have gone back and read your past entries, so I'm just reading this now! I wanted to let you know that I know how you feel when it comes to your weight!

    I'm small too (not as tiny as you though) and I hate that people don't understand it. I'm not too into working out, but I really should do something just for my health! Anytime I tell people I want to start running or doing pilates or anything I always get the same response: "You don't need to work out! You're so skinny!" I don't think people realize that this is insulting (I know they don't mean it in a bad way when they say it) but it hurts my feelings when people comment on my weight. As for trying to gain weight - I would suggest maybe going to a GNC or other sports / vitamin store and getting protein powder or something like that? My boyfriend did that when he wanted to gain weight and it really helped him.

    I hope that helps! And I really like your blog!



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